12 questions to ask your parents while they are healthy
By ParentReady. Updated September 14, 2026. Educational planning guide.
The best time to understand a parent’s preferences is often before anyone has to make an urgent decision. Ask permission, choose a few questions and let the conversation continue over time.
Start with daily life and autonomy
Ask: What makes a normal week feel good to you? What do you most want to keep doing for yourself? What kind of help would feel useful rather than intrusive? If living at home became harder, what would you want us to understand before discussing alternatives?
Clarify people and information
Ask: Who would you want called first in an emergency? Who should speak for you if you could not speak for yourself? Where could an authorized person find your current medication and doctor information? Which important documents already exist, and who knows where they are?
Make family expectations visible
Ask: Is there anyone you would not want involved in a particular decision? What help do you assume I could provide? What should happen if I am unavailable? When would you be willing to revisit this conversation? Do not promise more than you can sustain. Honest limits make a plan more dependable.
Try this today
- The three questions I will ask first
- The preference I need to remember in their own words
- When and how we will continue the conversation
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ParentReady’s exercises and examples are original planning suggestions. Source inclusion does not imply endorsement. This page is not medical, legal or financial advice and has not been independently reviewed by a clinician or lawyer.
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